Definition of Otto – lap dog, cuddle bug, playmate, writing partner, stuffed animal eater, new best friend, and releaser of deep, hidden emotions
On October 15, 2016 Blake brought home the newest addition to our family, Otto. He is a beautiful, smart, amazing Pudelpointer. What is a Pudelpointer? It is a German bird dog that is harder to find in the US than you would think. But, is worth every second of waiting.
We had been on 3 separate lists for about 3 years just waiting for our pup. The first breeder stopped breeding her dog; the second breeder only had a couple puppies. Then finally, with whatever luck we might have still had left in us, the third breeder had 6 puppies, and we were sixth on the list. We stalked the mom and puppies on Facebook every day, just wondering which pup we would end up with. We tried many times to explain to Reagan she was going to get a puppy. We even asked her to name it. Her top names? Reagan Reagan, Puppy, and Dog. Needless to say, we did not go with one of her choices.
Otto came at a very hard time for us. It had been a month since we had found out about Reagan’s tumor and we were not at all close to coming to terms with our new life. Before Blake went to pick up Otto, he and I had at last fallen into the pattern of “checking in” with each other. Every day we would ask the other one how we were doing, how we were feeling. We were trying so hard to be open and honest with each other so we could really support each other. We had failed so hard at doing this with the Epilepsy diagnosis, that we made a huge point to do it with the tumor.
In comes Otto. We suddenly had a newborn that we couldn’t swaddle or put in diapers. The breeders were amazing and he was already able to sleep through the night and let us know when he needed to go out, but he still required considerable amount of time and effort on our part. We got stressed. We were back to how we dealt with the Epilepsy initially, not talking and not sharing our feelings. We were overwhelmed. We both felt like we were doing the lion’s share of work in the house. We had a few fights, stupid meaningless fights that went nowhere.
Then, one night, we had a real fight. We got to the core of our stress. We both felt helpless. We both felt our lives were completely out of control. We both were drowning. He wasn’t doing enough, I wasn’t doing enough, neither of us were putting in real effort. It wasn’t Otto, it wasn’t the tumor or the Epilepsy, it was us, not talking and leaning on each other and instead, blaming each other for our added stress.
The best way forward? Champagne. Champagne makes the worst situation better. We had a glass or two and really talked. We cried. We dove into our feelings. And in the end, our stress and emotionally drained souls were in the same place. We were, and still are, in this together.
And, now with Otto, we have something new and great in our lives. He has helped us take our minds off of the beast and helped bring us back to the present. As someone once told me, dogs are very grounding, and he has done just that for our family. Him joining our family when he did might have been at a really hard time for us, but it was also when we needed him the most.
Reagan’s best friend.
My writing buddy as I write this. He’s stolen our <3
Best wishes are with you as you deal with a difficult situation. Keep up your good honest interaction. Will hope some of the questions you are dealing with. Stay strong be weak be together and seperate it is all as it needs to be.